Mephimon sleeps, his hunt has left him weary, I wonder if he will surely not wear himself too far, and the creature will turn hunter into hunted. No word of this would pass my lips. Things have been strained enough since my return to the realm from the Dreaming. He sometimes acts as though nothing has happened, that this brand upon my skin is simply a trick of shadow and nightmare. Yet as he sleeps, into the North window of my chamber glows the Pole Star with uncanny light. All through the long hellish hours of blackness it shines there. I see it, I feel it in that mark upon my shoulder, I remember. When the winds from the north curse and whine, and the red-leaved trees of the swamp mutter things to one another in the small hours of the morning under the horned waning moon, I sit by the casement and watch that star.

To those that came to rescue me, it seemed as if I had spent but a month in there. I tried to figure it, how time worked in the Dreaming, but for me it had been a year. I had give up hope, choose to live amongst the creatures. It changed me, inside. I cannot speak of those times, it is as hard to write of them. For her, the life I carry within me now, I will to put words to paper to some extent. So she will know, some day. I watch, in this desert paradise I created for Mephimon and myself so long ago. But still the Pole Star leers down from the same place in the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye, which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey.

Sometimes, when it is cloudy, I can sleep.

Yenearsira - (Winter Solstice, the Elven New Year)

The babe grows within as the snows fall. She's got spirit and fire within her, she has begun to kick to the touch of her father upon my stomach. He finds great delight in this, it is nice to see him smile again. Handsome and strong, he is already a good father, I hope she has his smile.

I reminisce in these times of family bliss, of the Dreaming; the city under the Pole Star, it is a constant worry for me, will my stay have effected her, and will she have its power within her? I had lain near death, dragged into a drugged sleep to save what of me there was left, The blessed moon the last vision to burn across the screen of my eyes. And then, it was under a horned waning moon that I saw the city for the first time.

It was a dream, and yet so much more. Still and somnolent did it lie, on a strange plateau in a hollow between strange peaks. Of ghastly marble were its walls and its towers, its columns, domes, and pavements. In the marble streets were marble pillars, the upper parts of which were carven into the images of grave bearded men. The air was warm and stirred not. And overhead, glowed that watching Pole Star. Long I waited for the breaking of blue dawn on the city, but the day came not. When the red star, which blinked low in the sky but never set, had crawled a quarter of the way around the horizon, I saw light and motion in the houses and the streets. Forms strangely robed, but at once noble and familiar, walked abroad and under the horned waning moon men talked wisdom in a tongue which I understood, though it was unlike any language which I had ever known. And when the red star's dynast had crawled more than halfway around the horizon, there were again darkness and silence. My life in the Dream Lands had begun. When I awoke, it was there, in those lands, though my body lay sleeping under the care of Mephimon, near dead, yet tenderly cared for.

I cannot dwell upon the city, for to do so, is to call attention to the Ones that live in its heart. The Ones that I left, to return to reality. Such things are not wise, yet must be faced in time. For I have made the choice that our daughter, once born, will be taken there to learn, to become what destiny holds for her.

This is in part, because I realize that being half demon, the elves will not take her in, and being part elf, the demons will not either, though I would not have my daughter trained by demons.

Sheelala - (Spring Equinox)

I was not as I had been. The days flew, life and death in every breath, every moment a struggle. In moments of peace away from the turmoil I would climb the great pyramid and watch the city from its summit, sometimes under the hot, yellow rays of a sun which did not set, but which wheeled low in the horizon. And on the clear nights the Pole Star leered as never before.

The words were engraved upon the keystone of the deep green veined living rock over the library of the city. To read the books within guaranteed madness for an unprepared mind. I learned regardless, and am sure, even now I pay for this knowledge. There were others there, the dark robed acolytes of the Ones that dwelled within the heart of the city, driven insane, they perform unholy rites and chant Cthulhu Fhtagn - "Cthulhu Dreams" Intrigued I searched for more information, this chant woven into my mind night after night by sheer proximity to the voices. Far underwater, in the lost city of R'lyeh, Cthulhu lies "dead but dreaming":

I lost weeks, months of time there in that darkness. But those are times I keep to myself. For when Mephimon, Carter and Caliban came for me, they rescued me, and I suppose in a way they did. I had been happy there, though it was happiness tempered with the unease of being in the DreamLands. The knowledge that the old ones were forever watching me. This tattoo that marks my shoulder, they watch me now though it, a calm watching, they have eternity to wait. It does not bother me.

The time nears for Nisaa to be born, that is what we have named her, and every day I wait in joyful nervousness for the time. Though I sometimes wish I could keep her within me a bit longer, I worry for her.

Ethele'mele - (May Day)

Nisaa has arrived! Labor was short, and poor Meph paced outside the tent as if he were wearing a new path though the oasis. She has his smile and warm milk chocolate skin, and my eyes of gold and elven ears. No tail or horns, no outward signs of being half demon. She will grow strong, and bring much joy to us both I know it. The only thing that bothers her father, and strangely not I, is that she bears the tattoo on her shoulder, the same tattoo I wear. It is part of her birthright. This tattoo will let her enter the DreamLand later when she's ready, it will warn her of danger… it protects, but by the same token, they will always watch. We begin our new lives now, Nisaa is now our world.

Yavieba - (Autumnal Equinox)

I have not written often since Nisaa was born, but she grows so strong, and she is such a willful child, I wonder where she gets it, her father most likely. The seasons turn, and I have taken her to the DreamLands many times, she learns of the strange creatures and people so quickly, I don't worry for a moment that she will find Beware odd, as I know the Dreaming is a much stranger place. I have taken her to Beware as well, she found friends with a fae, and a dragon, such playmates seem somehow fitting for a half elf, half demon child. She is always smiling, always laughing, inquisitive and curious. Too curious sometimes, she followed me into my lab today, and managed to spill a few vials and sands I was working on, and luckily the results were only her turning a strange shade of purple and nothing worse. Meph was irate that I let her stay after that, but I do not complain when he sneaks her out to train with weapons, as if I was oblivious to it. I know, she will need both magical, and weapons training to survive in the world, as well as the cunning and wit she's developed on her own.

Ehtele'mele - (two weeks past May Day)

Nisaa's seventeenth birthday was two weeks ago, her father gave her a short sword, embedded with some sort of demon magic, it will always return to her hand if dropped, and no one may take it from her, it's a beautiful weapon, and she seems so very proud of it. I made for her a cloak, that hides her in any setting, the woods, cliffs, castle wherever she may find herself, a sort of chameleon cloak for her protection. It's a deep blue naturally, with a pin crafted in the shape of one of the cats from the DreamLand.

I remember when she first saw the cats, and found they could leap to the moon when it was setting, the dream lands were full of creatures that brought such awe and delight. She wanted to jump with them, and I barely pulled her down from the library's steeple in time. One of many of Nisaa's wild adventures to become 'friends' with the animals, she has such a flare for them. Though to this day, she does not understand why I will not take her to the pyramid on the edge of the city, and why I forbid her to go on her own. She trusts me, and perhaps someday, I will tell her about my time there.

Meph and I have come to part, it was not an easy thing to do, but it is for the best I think. He remains close to Nisaa, and I am thankful for that, I would not see my daughter harmed because I can no longer deny that I am Elf not slave. I see her smile, and I know life holds only the best now for both of us.

Meph tells me Nisaa is learning fast, that her weapons skills are amazing, that she is an incredible shot with her bow, and excellent at staff. "Almost as good as me!" he jokes, though I know, she is better. Here, in the Dreaming, she's had years to train.

It seems like only a few days has past, but I know, my daughter is growing up so quickly. Soon she will endure her coming of age, both for elf and demon. This worries me, as an elf, it is demanding mentally, and magically, but as demon, it has the potential to be lethal. I think she knows this, and still wants to go through with it, perhaps to please us, but more I think, because she desires to prove to herself she is ready for the world. Seems like only yesterday she was playing with the cats.

She has taken to spending long hours in the library of Kadaf, the city within the Dreaming. Learning of Cthulhu and the great Old Ones, of that they lay on the outer edges of reality, bound outside it by the dreams of mere mortals, of their great evil, cosmic foul hatred and consuming despair. The Dreaming is the dreams of these creatures, as well as the dreams of all other creatures, dogs, humans, demons, elves, we all make the Dreaming what it is, a thin line between Them, and us. She has learned as I did, that the Dreaming is full of danger and things best left unmentioned, as well as great delight, all things magical and mystical. Great horrible creatures, and mysteries to leave one coming back, over and over. Some of the books take an bit of your soul, of your sanity, I have tried to steer her clear of these, but they are where the true power lies. If she chooses to read some of them, I will be there to help her. Perhaps this makes me a poor mother, but I will not stifle her need for adventure or knowledge, I know how it is.

Undated Entry

Nisaa's Coming of Age has come and past. Only she knows what happened in the caves of hell, and the high tops of the elven range. She is recovering well, and has done better than either I or Meph could have imagined. Perhaps some day she will tell me of it.

Her magical talents have bloomed, and I can only predict that she will grow to become a great adept. She is a skilled fighter as well, and shows no hesitation in her actions. Though since she's come of age, she seems to have a will for trouble, and I worry sometimes. Staying out all night, coming back without a word. Traveling the deep hidden spots of the Dreaming, to walk in others' dreams and shape reality around herself. She doesn't realize what a gift she has, and I worry, someone else will see it, and exploit it. We will see, I have faith, in my daughter, and her wiles.